Sometimes bad things happen: you have a horrible day, you get a speeding ticket, a friend disappoints you - during these times of bad, emotions are the first to be effected. I find that most of the time my emotions lean towards the bad. Quite honestly I'm fed up with it. I'm notoriously bad (aren't we all) about letting my exterior contradict my internal struggles. I'm taking an acting class, which is a bit strange for me, and our teacher defines acting as "Living truthfully in imaginary circumstances." I do the opposite in every day life. I live falsely in very real circumstances and my poor husband sees and has to deal with all my real feelings when I finally explode. I find it easier to put on a front than let me emotions intervene in everyday life. Now of course I don't want them to take over my life (especially if they're bad emotions) but I have a choice on how things effect me and emotions can be very healthy. So once again here is my blog. Mainly so I can let out some steam, peel back some layers, and begin to show how I really feel (clique...shut up).
So much has changed. Even between my first two posts and now. It's just incredible how life moves so quickly. I look back and kinda feel naive (in a good way...if that's possible). I feel like I've grown a lot since then and that was just a short 6 months ago. Life is hard folks. But it's even harder if you are not daily drowning in His Word and presence. Which to be honest I have never been good about reading my Bible. It is now that I'm realizing how crucial it really is. When you are away from Him that is when those bad emotions can over take you very quickly. And I mean VERY QUICKLY. Without Christ the bad is impossible to handle.
So the main reason I restarted this blog (again) is to not only let my good and bad emotions out but to be sort of an accountability partner. We started a 40 day prayer journey at church and it really is perfect timing for me. In just over 40 days we will be moving in to our first house! Eek! I want nothing more than our house to be a house of worship. First I have to start on my own house. My body is a temple and I need to make myself a house of prayer (I feel an Eddie James song coming on). I have been so blessed to at the young age of 21 have an amazing husband, wonderful job, and now be a homeowner but once again it has been at a young age. Life has kinda been in fast forward for me and so I am learning many things at once. Through all this I have let my spiritual life take the biggest hit. It was the easiest thing to put to the side when I had to learn so much so fast. And it's because of that fact that I've had this internal struggle. But no more. I know that I do not have to feel this way and I'm ready to climb to reach a healthier understanding of my emotions by daily diving into His word.
Day 1 starts tomorrow.
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