Sometimes bad things happen: you have a horrible day, you get a speeding ticket, a friend disappoints you - during these times of bad, emotions are the first to be effected. I find that most of the time my emotions lean towards the bad. Quite honestly I'm fed up with it. I'm notoriously bad (aren't we all) about letting my exterior contradict my internal struggles. I'm taking an acting class, which is a bit strange for me, and our teacher defines acting as "Living truthfully in imaginary circumstances." I do the opposite in every day life. I live falsely in very real circumstances and my poor husband sees and has to deal with all my real feelings when I finally explode. I find it easier to put on a front than let me emotions intervene in everyday life. Now of course I don't want them to take over my life (especially if they're bad emotions) but I have a choice on how things effect me and emotions can be very healthy. So once again here is my blog. Mainly so I can let out some steam, peel back some layers, and begin to show how I really feel (clique...shut up).
So much has changed. Even between my first two posts and now. It's just incredible how life moves so quickly. I look back and kinda feel naive (in a good way...if that's possible). I feel like I've grown a lot since then and that was just a short 6 months ago. Life is hard folks. But it's even harder if you are not daily drowning in His Word and presence. Which to be honest I have never been good about reading my Bible. It is now that I'm realizing how crucial it really is. When you are away from Him that is when those bad emotions can over take you very quickly. And I mean VERY QUICKLY. Without Christ the bad is impossible to handle.
So the main reason I restarted this blog (again) is to not only let my good and bad emotions out but to be sort of an accountability partner. We started a 40 day prayer journey at church and it really is perfect timing for me. In just over 40 days we will be moving in to our first house! Eek! I want nothing more than our house to be a house of worship. First I have to start on my own house. My body is a temple and I need to make myself a house of prayer (I feel an Eddie James song coming on). I have been so blessed to at the young age of 21 have an amazing husband, wonderful job, and now be a homeowner but once again it has been at a young age. Life has kinda been in fast forward for me and so I am learning many things at once. Through all this I have let my spiritual life take the biggest hit. It was the easiest thing to put to the side when I had to learn so much so fast. And it's because of that fact that I've had this internal struggle. But no more. I know that I do not have to feel this way and I'm ready to climb to reach a healthier understanding of my emotions by daily diving into His word.
Day 1 starts tomorrow.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
So I started and then stopped and then started a blog
I think the last time I wrote it was March. It is now July. Needless to say there have been many changes from then until now.
I got married.
I changed jobs.
I'm trying to become a student...again.
All while trying to figure out when and where God will send Simon and I - if we will be sent.
June 1st was our wedding day. And it could not have been more perfect. It flew by! Up until the moments I was walking down the aisle the weather was on my mind. It was hot in the morning - gross. Then it started raining - oh no. But then it was perfect. The rain cooled the day down and made all the garden bugs go away. The temperature was just perfect. I wasn't hot or cold and neither was Simon - perfect. The ceremony was gorgeous. I loved having Robert and Chuck perform the service. And Chuck gave us the most amazing word. He told us that we would go and come back and go and come back and go and come back. I tend to do exactly that. I cannot wait for that day in which we start going. It's hard to wait. Every day I want to go more and more.
The past month and 3 weeks have been incredible. I'm not going to say it has been easy because there are always bumps, there always will be bumps, but it has been the best time. I love my husband more now that I did when I said "I do." I love him more than I did yesterday, and I know that I will be able to say that every day of my life. I am so blessed to be lead but such a God fearing man. I cannot wait to spread the love of Christ to the world next to him.
I got married.
I changed jobs.
I'm trying to become a student...again.
All while trying to figure out when and where God will send Simon and I - if we will be sent.
June 1st was our wedding day. And it could not have been more perfect. It flew by! Up until the moments I was walking down the aisle the weather was on my mind. It was hot in the morning - gross. Then it started raining - oh no. But then it was perfect. The rain cooled the day down and made all the garden bugs go away. The temperature was just perfect. I wasn't hot or cold and neither was Simon - perfect. The ceremony was gorgeous. I loved having Robert and Chuck perform the service. And Chuck gave us the most amazing word. He told us that we would go and come back and go and come back and go and come back. I tend to do exactly that. I cannot wait for that day in which we start going. It's hard to wait. Every day I want to go more and more.
The past month and 3 weeks have been incredible. I'm not going to say it has been easy because there are always bumps, there always will be bumps, but it has been the best time. I love my husband more now that I did when I said "I do." I love him more than I did yesterday, and I know that I will be able to say that every day of my life. I am so blessed to be lead but such a God fearing man. I cannot wait to spread the love of Christ to the world next to him.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
A blog?
So, I started a blog. I. have. started...a blog.
Every single blog I've read I found annoying, unrealistic, or too witty. So why am I starting a blog? Because there have been several in which I've found inspiring. I am not saying that mine will be that way but I hope that what I write will one day speak to someone, even if it's me in 30 years.
So here's a little bit about me.
I am at a very interesting and valuable moment in my life.
I am in college. (Even though I'm taking a short break)
I am engaged.
I am working full time.
I am running toward Christ.
I am constantly learning.
I am college.
College is a wonderful place. Something that I really did and hope to enjoy again. I went away to school for two years. Those two years were priceless. I learned to be my own person. I learned to stand up for my own faith. I learned to make new friends. Once I left there, there was things I missed. Things I wished I would've done. Luckily I have two (maybe more) years left in which I can continue those memories. College is an experience but it isn't the experience. I thought that where I went decided those memories. While Belmont was a fantastic place and I do miss it isn't college that make college. It was the people I was surrounded by, it was me. That is what made it a college experience. I was involved and I loved every minute of it. If you are about to go to college or are in college don't let the school determine your happiness. It is up to you.
I am engaged.
Part of the reason I moved home was because I was and am madly in love. We dated for 18 months before we were engaged. Half of that was a part. Those 9 months were the worst and best months. It forced us to truly love each other. Through the pain and frustration of being a part we learned so much about each other. How to communicate, how to make minutes matter. Falling in love with him was the greatest gift that God could give me. While it wasn't easy, it is so worth it. I am looking forward to starting my life with him as husband and wife.
I am working full time.
I have less than a year of experience so I feel like I do not have much to say. What I do have to say is that if you don't love your work, than it truly becomes work. My job is not work. It is something I sincerely enjoy even through the frustrations.
I am running toward God.
This is the most important of them all. Through all the craziness of wedding planning, working full time, trying to decide where to go to school, following Christ comes first. Well, I need to make sure that it comes first. It is not always easy but it needs to come first. I can tell when I have let other things come first. He is my everything. When my life seems to be crumbling and things don't make sense, He does.
I am constantly learning.
Through everything I am learning and growing. I am learning how to become a nurse. I am learning how to be "the other half" for my fiance. I am learning how to work with and for others. I am learning to run faster towards God and how to reflect his love.
Every single blog I've read I found annoying, unrealistic, or too witty. So why am I starting a blog? Because there have been several in which I've found inspiring. I am not saying that mine will be that way but I hope that what I write will one day speak to someone, even if it's me in 30 years.
So here's a little bit about me.
I am at a very interesting and valuable moment in my life.
I am in college. (Even though I'm taking a short break)
I am engaged.
I am working full time.
I am running toward Christ.
I am constantly learning.
I am college.
College is a wonderful place. Something that I really did and hope to enjoy again. I went away to school for two years. Those two years were priceless. I learned to be my own person. I learned to stand up for my own faith. I learned to make new friends. Once I left there, there was things I missed. Things I wished I would've done. Luckily I have two (maybe more) years left in which I can continue those memories. College is an experience but it isn't the experience. I thought that where I went decided those memories. While Belmont was a fantastic place and I do miss it isn't college that make college. It was the people I was surrounded by, it was me. That is what made it a college experience. I was involved and I loved every minute of it. If you are about to go to college or are in college don't let the school determine your happiness. It is up to you.
I am engaged.
Part of the reason I moved home was because I was and am madly in love. We dated for 18 months before we were engaged. Half of that was a part. Those 9 months were the worst and best months. It forced us to truly love each other. Through the pain and frustration of being a part we learned so much about each other. How to communicate, how to make minutes matter. Falling in love with him was the greatest gift that God could give me. While it wasn't easy, it is so worth it. I am looking forward to starting my life with him as husband and wife.
I am working full time.
I have less than a year of experience so I feel like I do not have much to say. What I do have to say is that if you don't love your work, than it truly becomes work. My job is not work. It is something I sincerely enjoy even through the frustrations.
I am running toward God.
This is the most important of them all. Through all the craziness of wedding planning, working full time, trying to decide where to go to school, following Christ comes first. Well, I need to make sure that it comes first. It is not always easy but it needs to come first. I can tell when I have let other things come first. He is my everything. When my life seems to be crumbling and things don't make sense, He does.
I am constantly learning.
Through everything I am learning and growing. I am learning how to become a nurse. I am learning how to be "the other half" for my fiance. I am learning how to work with and for others. I am learning to run faster towards God and how to reflect his love.
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